A Red and Blue Family
by glittering wolf
Summary: After their dad dies, the Blues are sent off to live with their Uncle Sarge and their cousins the Reds. (An AU fic)
1. Chapter 1

**This is a new AU that I am working on with Petchricor that features the Reds and the Blues as cousins. I hope that you like it, and will review it. I hope that it is not too confusing, but if it is, remember, it's still kind of a work in progress. **

**I don't own RedvsBlue RoosterTeeth does.**

* * *

The car was silent as Sarge drove to their new home. Sarge because he didn't know what to say, Tucker and Church because they were too annoyed, and Caboose just really didn't understand what was going on.

The Blues had plenty of reason to be annoyed. Their mom had died when they were little so they were raised by their, eccentric, dad for the longest time.

It wasn't too bad of a life, their dad was just a little weird sometimes, but then he had to go and die of an Aspirin overdose.

Now they were being forced to leave their perfectly nice home, and being shipped off to live with their mom's brother.

They didn't see their 'uncle' Sarge or their cousins 'the reds' very often.

The Blues were perfectly happy staying as far away as possible from their annoying cousins and crazy uncle.

Honestly, the two families acted like mortal enemies most of the time.

They only ever say each other during the holidays and those visits were always strained, with the blues staying on one side of the room and the reds staying on the other.

Now they were going to have to leave behind their home, school, and all their friends to go live with much hated family.

So yeah, Tucker and Church had a lot of reasons to be annoyed.

Sarge cleared his throat, and the three Blues looked at their uncle.

"We should be there soon," he said in that ridiculous southern accent of his. "We can unpack your stuff and get it into your new rooms right away.**"**

"Are we going to have our own rooms?" Church asked flatly already knowing what the answer would be.

Sarge shook his head.

"You'll have to share," he said. "Grif and Simmons got a room. You and Tucker will get a room, and Caboose will have to share with Donut."

Tucker and Church exchanged weary glances. They didn't like the idea of sharing a room with each other, but it beat having to share with either the kiss-ass or the fat-ass.

Caboose smiled broadly.

"I get to share a room with the Muffin Man?" he asked. "That is so cool! He always has the best stories!"

Tucker rolled his eyes while Church groaned.

Caboose and Donut seemed to be the only two that could get along in the little messed up group they called their family.

Sarge pulled into the drive-way, and the Blues got out of the car to get a good look at their new home.

However, yelling interrupted their thoughts.

"This is my side of the room! Stay off it!" an angry voice yelled loud enough to be heard outside

"We're supposed to be sharing this room Simmons," another voice taunted. "How do you think Sarge would react if he found out the kiss-ass wasn't being all sharesy?"

"That's not even a real word!" the first voice all but screeched.

"Shut your mouths, and come say hello to your cousins!" Sarge ordered yelling loud enough to be heard from outside.

The door opened quickly and a small pink figure came darting out.

"Caboose!" Donut shouted.

"Biscuit!" Caboose replied happily turning towards his pink clad cousin.

Donut smiled and came to stand next to his cousin.

"It's still Donut," he said his voice patient and kind.

He turned around and glanced at Church and Tucker.

"Hey," he said half-heartedly giving them a small wave.

Except for Caboose, he mostly found his cousins to be rude jerks, always teasing him mercilessly for the nickname he had gotten from his mom before she walked out on them, and making fun of him.

Church and Tucker found Donut less irritating than either of his brothers, but his cheerful attitude and quirky personality made him annoying, really annoying.

Church gave him a small half-smile and muttered a quiet hello.

Tucker rolled his eyes and said, "Hey Pinkie Pie."

Sarge shot a glare of disapproval in Tuckers direction which caused his teal clad nephew to flinch slightly.

"Hey Donut," Tucker corrected, faking as much enthusiasm as he possibly could.

Sarge gave a nod of approval and then stared expectantly at the door.

Simmons came out of the door next pulling behind him a very reluctant Grif.

"Hey," they said in unison, their tones dull and reluctant.

They came to stand with their younger brother when Sarge reached out and smacked Grif in the back of his head.

"Ow!" Grif yelped crossly glaring at his father for a bit. "What was that for?"

"What did I tell you boys about cursing?" Sarge asked in a scolding tone.

"Only do it when you're not around," Donut said cheerfully before turning to talk to his cousin again.

"It'll be so great having you live here with us. It'll be like having a big sleepover!" he said, bouncing up and down just a bit.

Simmons forced a smile on his face.

"Yeah you guys, being here, all the time, never leaving. It's going to be…great," Simmons ground out, his jaw clenched slightly.

Grif crossed his arms and muttered, "Wonderful."

Nodding his head, Sarge headed into the house, leaving the six boys alone outside.

"Your house still looks like shit," Church said flatly once his uncle was safely out of hearing range.

"If you don't like it, you're more than welcome to find some other place to sleep," Simmons snapped, his smile quickly turning into a scowl.

Grif's eyes shot up from the ground and leveled with Tucker's.

"You still an immature pervert?" Grif asked dryly.

Tucker narrowed his eyes.

"Are you still a lazy fat-ass?" he asked venomous.

Donut's eyes darted back and forth between the four older boys, his face full of worry.

He forced a smile and turned towards Caboose.

"You get to stay in my room," he said, trying to keep things cheerful.

"Where's Church going to sleep?" Caboose asked curiously. "Can he stay in our room? That would be the best thing ever!"

Church scoffed and crossed his arms.

"I'm bunking with Tucker Caboose," he said annoyed, mentally shivering at the thought of staying in the same room as his idiotic brother and fruity cousin.

"Who is Tucker Caboose?" Caboose asked his eyes going wide with wonder and confusion.

All the boys except for Donut groaned.

"He's going to stay with Tucker in Grif's old room," Donut said enthusiastically, smiling reassuringly.

Tucker groaned.

"Why do we have to stay in his room?" he asked resentfully. "There's no telling what he did in there!"

"Nothing worse than anything you probably did in your room!" Grif snapped.

Before another argument could break out, Sarge's voice interrupted.

"Boys! Stop lollygagging and get inside!" he shouted.

Simmons turned and quickly head into the house. Grif followed shortly after glaring one last time at Tucker. Donut grabbed Caboose's hand and dragged him along as he followed his brothers into the house.

Church scowled, and Tucker crossed his arms, but they both walked into the house.

They could already tell they weren't going to like their new living arrangements.

* * *

**Well that's the first chapter. Big thanks to Petch for helping me with this. **


	2. Chapter 2

**I think this is the longest chapter I've ever written in my entire life. Here is the next installment of my story. There are some fluffy moments in here so you have been warned. I hope you like this chapter and please review.**

**Once again, thanks to Petchricor for helping me with this story. You rock Petch. **

**I don't own RedvsBlue. I just write stupid stories about it.**

* * *

Simmons quickly ran up the stairs to his room.

'His and Grif's room,' Simmons reminded himself since, thanks to his dear cousins, he now had to share it with his fat-ass of a brother.

Simmons didn't want to share his room with Grif. He sure as hell didn't want to share his house with any of the Blues.

He liked the way things were now. Ever since their mom had walked out on them all those years ago, it had just been him, Sarge, Grif, and Donut.

Their dad, whom they always referred to as Sarge, may have been insane, Grif may have been lazy, and Donut may have been…. Donut, but it was his family, and it functioned well enough.

The Blues were another matter entirely.

Church was an angry asshole, and Simmons always clashed with him the worst out of all the Blues. Church may have only been a year older than him, but Church acted as if it was ten years. He always tried to be the leader, and Simmons didn't appreciate being bossed around by anyone other than Sarge.

Grif hated Tucker the most. It was weird. In a way they were a lot alike, but the two couldn't stand each other. Maybe it was because Tucker accidently hit Grif with his dad's jeep when they were five and broke his arm.

Caboose was an idiot. It was kind of hard to hate him when he was really too stupid to know any better, but the only one who could tolerate him for longer than a few minutes was Donut, and that was probably only because Donut was also a bit of an idiot.

Simmons walked into his room and sat down on his bed, glaring at the side of the room Grif now claimed as his own.

Grif walked in shortly, smirking slightly at the irritated look on Simmons's face before getting a similar scowl on his face. He quickly settled onto his own bed, choosing instead to lie down.

"Well this sucks," he said offhandedly, trying hard to keep his tone flat and uninterested.

Simmons grunted his consent and lay down as well.

They stayed in their room for the remainder of the day just lying in silence not wanting to risk running into their new housemates. They were pretty sure they could hear Donut's squeals of excitement through the walls, and that only made them want to stay in their room even more.

Unfortunately they had to come out when Sarge called them downstairs for dinner.

Reluctantly, Grif and Simmons got off their beds and walked slowly down the stairs. Simmons couldn't believe he didn't want to follow an order from Sarge, and Grif was surprised he was moving this slow when there was food involved.

Tucker and Church were already at the table sitting on one side silently brooding. Grif and Simmons sat on the opposite side of the table choosing to brood silently themselves.

Caboose walked into the dining room next. He smiled when he saw Church and quickly moved a chair closer to him, causing the older Blue to scowl a bit.

Donut entered the room next. His eyes scanned the room for Caboose, but upon seeing him sitting close to Church, Donut quickly picked a seat closer to his own brothers.

Sarge walked into the room and frowned at the sight of the Blues sitting on one side and the Reds sitting on the other.

He wasn't really surprised. He'd never really helped to foster good relations between them. Hell, he'd pretty much hated his brother-in-law. He could never understand why his sister would have married such a flowery weirdo.

Sarge wasn't quite sure why he continued their annual holiday visits to the Blues after his sister died. Maybe because he felt like it was what she would have wanted. Still didn't stop him from hating the dirty blue.

He didn't hate his nephews though. There was too much of his sister in them. That's why he was more than eager to take them in after their dad died.

He just wished they could get along better with his own boys.

He set the pizza on the table and tried to sit somewhere in-between the two groups.

The boys quickly grabbed their share of the pizza and began to eat in silence, eyeballing each other warily.

Sarge cleared his throat and decided to stimulate the conversation.

"So you boys will be starting school tomorrow at Valhalla ISD," he said carefully knowing that his next words might upset them a bit. "You older boys will be in charge of making sure Donut and Caboose make it their safely."

Church looked up at Sarge his eyes wide and his jaw going slack.

"When you say you boys, do you mean all of us? Are you saying we're all going to the same school?" his voice going slightly shrill.

"Valhalla is a K-12 school that was specifically designed that way so that a child could maintain consistency in their education in a structured constant environment and live their full childhoods around people with whom they were familiar with," Simmons said, barely glancing up from his pizza.

Church shot him the evil eye, but it was Tucker who asked, "What did you do? Memorize the school code of conduct?"

Simmons opened his mouth to respond, but whatever he would have said was interrupted by Grif's snickering.

"He did. Nobody's even read it except for him, not even most of the teachers," Grif snickered again. "After he learns Spanish, he'll probably try and memorize it in a different language."

Donut snickered at Grif's joke before turning to Caboose.

"We're going to be in the same class! The teacher even said that I can be your homework buddy!" he smiled as he said this causing Church and Tucker to laugh.

"You have your work cut out for you Donut," Church said smugly.

"I have to go to school?" Caboose asked dismayed. "But it's so boring! And I do not like the teacher."

"Caboose, I don't think the teachers like you either," Tucker said. "Especially the one you 'accidently' pushed out the window."

Caboose scowled.

"Ms. Shelia tripped over the book that I just so happened to have placed on the floor. Near her feet. Everyone agreed that it was a total accident and nobody's fault,"

Donut had stopped smiling and was staring at Caboose with wide, confused eyes.

Church smirked at his youngest cousin.

"Your problem now," he said simply before turning his attention back to his pizza.

Sarge grimaced. This conversation wasn't going as well as he had hoped.

"Oh Tucker," he said. "I talked to school and you're going to be in all the same classes as Grif."

Grif nearly choked on his bite of pizza and Tucker dropped his on the floor.

"You did what?!" Grif asked turning around in his seat to glare at his father.

Sarge growled and glared at him with disapproval.

"I said that you two are going to be in the same class dirtbag. Don't you be questioning your father. It'll be nice for your cousin to have a friendly face to show him around class and help him out."

"Yeah thanks Sarge. You shouldn't have," Tucker said blandly. "You really, really shouldn't have," he added under his breath. He didn't want to incur his uncle's wrath like Grif did.

Simmons groaned.

"So I'm going to be sharing some of my classes with Church aren't I?" he asked trying hard to keep his voice even.

Sarge nodded.

"I knew I could count on you to see the brilliance of my plans Simmons," Sarge said clapping his oldest son on the back.

Simmons smiled slightly at the positive attention he received, but he quickly frowned again when he felt a kick under the table.

"Kiss-ass!" Grif hissed quietly so Sarge wouldn't hear.

Simmons kicked Grif back and the two soon began something of a kicking war while from across the table Church stared at his uncle in confusion.

"Why would I be taking classes with him? He's an eighth grader. Aw crap! I don't have to repeat a grade or something because it's a new school do I?" he asked visibly distressed and annoyed.

"I am an eighth grader technically," Simmons said feeling a bit smug at having made his cousin uncomfortable. "But since I'm doing so well, I'm taking some freshman classes."

"How many of my classes are you going to be in?" Church asked warily.

Simmons shrugged.

"Math, Science, English, and middle school and high school share one elective and P.E." he said.

"We're taking the same elective aren't we?" Church asked dreading the answer.

"We all are," Simmons said glancing around the table at Tucker and Grif.

"What's the elective?" Tucker asked.

"Not sure. I think it's like woodshop or art class or something. It might actually be study hall. I don't know," Grif said shrugging his shoulders.

"How can you not know?" Tucker asked annoyed at how stupid his cousin could be.

"We can't understand what the teacher is saying," Simmons said simply.

Tucker and Church shot him confused looks.

"Lopez doesn't speak a lick of English," Sarge said. "He's of Latino persuasion. Good man though. One of the best friends I've ever had. We go out drinking sometimes."

"I don't know if he really enjoys that," Simmons said doubtfully. "The day before you two went out drinking, he kept banging his head against the wall during class."

"Yeah," Grif agreed. "And he kept muttering something that sounded kind of like why me."

"Yeah I really am his only friend," Sarge continued talking as though he hadn't heard them. "Doesn't have much company except for his two boys, and they aren't too close to him."

"So why is he teaching…whatever….when he can't even speak English? Why would they make it so people like me, have to go to school with people like Caboose? Who is running this school? Are they out of their mind?" Church asked his voice getting loud and slightly hysterical.

"I don't know dude," Grif said tiredly apparently having already had this conversation too many times. "Our school is run by some dude named Vic, and he's just freaking insane."

Conversation at the dinner table seemed to die down after that.

Grif was the first to crack.

"I'm done," he said pushing away his plate earning him astounded looks from everyone seated at table which he ignored as he made his escape from the table.

Church cracked next, not even bothering to make an excuse before getting up and leaving.

Caboose quickly followed after Church like an obedient puppy, leaving his pizza half-eaten on the table.

Tucker took one last lingering look at the table full of Reds before mumbling an excuse and taking his leave as well.

Donut tried to continue some semblance of a conversation by talking about how awesome it would be going to school with Caboose, but it his voice was obviously strained.

Finally the youngest Red finished his slice of pizza and went upstairs to get ready for bed.

Simmons and Sarge sat alone at the table.

Simmons finally finished his pizza slice as well and got up from his chair, but before he could make his escape, Sarge cleared his throat.

"Stay here for a bit, I want to talk to you," Sarge said placing his napkin on the table.

"Yes sir," Simmons said tiredly as he sat back down. He had a feeling he knew what Sarge wanted to talk about.

"You've always been good at following orders," Sarge said.

Simmons had to agree. He was practically the only one of his brothers to listen to their dad most of the time.

"You've been real good at keeping your brothers from killing each other and been taking real good care of them since your mom ran off," Sarge continued running a hand tiredly through his graying hair.

Simmons also had to agree to that. Their mom had left when he was eight for greener pastures, or as Grif often said, to join the circus. After that, Simmons had acted as a type of mother to Grif and Donut. Something for which he was teased mercilessly by Grif.

If it weren't for him, Grif and Donut probably would have starved to death after school or killed each other over possession of the remote.

"So I think that you could be an excellent role model to your brothers so they will get along better with your cousins," Sarge finished triumphantly, his face breaking into a major grin.

Simmons sputtered slightly.

"What?" he asked. "Sir, I don't think that's a good idea. Donut already gets along with Caboose well enough and you know Grif would never try and be like me in any way. Can't we just leave things the way they are? They seem perfectly fine to me."

He looked at his father with large pleading eyes, but immediately looked down at the table at the disapproving glare he received.

Sarge's glare softened and he placed a hand on his oldest son's shoulder.

"Come on Simmons. I know you could do it. Just try," he begged. "Eat lunch together. Go to the park and through a football or something. Play video games for all I care! Just do something together and try and bond."

It was an order, not a request, and Simmons knew it, and he knew that he would follow that order. It was just in his kiss-ass nature.

"I'll try," Simmons promised as he got up from the table and made his way up to his room. 'His and Grif's room,' he reminded himself yet again as he wondered what the hell he had gotten himself into.

He was almost to his door, when Caboose rammed into him.

Simmons glared at his younger cousin.

"What the heck are you doing Caboose? You're supposed to be in bed!" he snapped. He was way too tired to deal with this.

Caboose stared at Simmons as if he just noticed him.

"Sorry Simon," he muttered. "I didn't notice you. I was too sad."

Simmons sighed. He knew he was probably going to regret this, but he asked.

"What are you so sad about?" Then he added as an afterthought. "And it's Simmons."

Caboose seemed almost reluctant to confide in the Red but ended up blurting out the entire story.

"Well you see, I was really nervous about starting a new school because schools don't typically like me, and I couldn't go to sleep. So I thought that I could go sleep with Church and he would make things all better. Because you know he does that all the time, but he told me to go away and leave him alone. And he said that if I bugged him again, he'd push me down the stairs."

Simmons stared at his cousin for a bit, not quite sure what to make of the story.

He briefly considered trying to talk to Church before deciding the Blue would probably just throw him down the stairs for bugging him, and Caboose was not worth it.

"Why don't you get Donut to tell you a story?" he suggested. Caboose always seemed to love those.

Caboose brightened a bit at the thought before quickly heading towards his room.

"Church would have been better," he muttered though as he walked in and closed the door behind him.

Simmons sighed before entering his own room.

He could already tell school was going to be hell tomorrow.

Meanwhile, Sarge cleared away the plates from the table and packed the uneaten food in the fridge for later.

He made his way into the living room and collapsed into his chair.

This day had been exhausting, and it didn't look like it was going to get better anytime soon. He could only hope it could though.

He reached over and grabbed the photo album he kept on the table beside his chair and began to leaf through it.

It had many pictures of his boys when they were young and a few pictures of him and his wife that had not been torn to shreds after she left. A bit further and there were a few pictures of his nephews as well and even further back were pictures of him and his sister as kids.

He sighed. They really did look like their mama. Sometimes they even reminded him of her. He really did miss her.

He hoped that the living arrangements would work out. Having those boys around felt like having a bit of his sister back in his life.


	3. Chapter 3

**I wrote another chapter! I hope you guys like it, and will please review it. This chapter doesn't contain near as much of the fluffiness of the last chapter, but I hope you still find it acceptable. **

**Thanks to Petchricor for helping.**

**I don't own RedvsBlue. RoosterTeeth does.**

* * *

Grif sighed as the alarm woke him up earlier than he was used too. He placed his pillow over his head in an attempt to block out the sound, but it didn't work.

Simmons quickly turned off the alarm and rolled out of bed, ready to greet the new day.

As his brother was getting dressed, Grif got up and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes, mumbling about the injustice of getting an early bird as a roommate.

Simmons noticed his younger brother's grumpiness and smirked.

"Good morning Grif," he said in a chipper voice causing said brother to throw a pillow at his head.

"What is wrong with you?" Grif asked in a winy voice. "How can you get up this early?"

Simmons scoffed.

"It's not that early Grif. Besides we have school today. We have to get ready," he said.

"We don't have to get up this early!" Grif protested wishing he had his pillow back so he could cover his head. "We could sleep in a few hours and it wouldn't make any difference except we'd be well rested for once."

"You didn't have to wake up," Simmons pointed out. "Go back to sleep if you're so tired."

Grif grumbled and settled back into bed, but found that he was already awake and couldn't get back to sleep. So he groggily rolled out of bed and started to get ready as well.

'Stupid Simmons waking up early. Stupid Sarge making me bunk with an early bird. Stupid Blues making me give up my room,' Grif thought angrily as he put on his clothes.

Grif growled under his breath and stomped angrily down the stairs and to the dining room. Simmons and Sarge were already sitting around the table.

Sarge eyebrows shot up in surprise at the sight of his lazy son up and about without having to be forced out of bed. Simmons just smirked a bit before returning his attention to his cereal.

Grif placed a pop tart in the toaster and waited for it to come out.

Upstairs, Church was having a pleasant sleep. That is, until Caboose chose that moment to run into his and Tucker's room and jump on his bed.

"Wake up! Wake up! Church! We have to go to school today, and I need you to help me get dressed," he shouted at the top of his lungs while still bouncing on his bed.

Church groaned.

"For the love of God Caboose! You're seven years old! You can get dressed by your own damned self!" he shouted at his brother sitting up so he could fix his younger brother with a glare.

Caboose didn't seem fazed by Church's yelling though it did succeed in waking Tucker up.

"Stop yelling," he mumbled opening his eyes and looking at his brothers sitting on Church's bed. "You shouldn't be cussing around him you know," he said directing his comment at Church. "He's too stupid to know he's not supposed to repeat it."

"Oh shut up Tucker!" Church snapped rubbing his eyes. "It's too early for this shit."

Caboose tugged on Church's shirt sleeve impatiently.

"Church," he whined. "You have to help me dress. I can't have food time before pants time! That would be making up times."

Church groaned and fell back onto the bed.

"Go ask Donut to help you," Tucker suggested, saying the first thing he could think of that would get Caboose to leave. "He loves dress up."

Caboose's face lit up, and he quickly jumped off of Church's bed.

"McMuffin!" he shouted as he ran out of the room. "You want to play dress up and help me with pants time?"

Church sighed in relief and looked over at his brother.

"Thanks man," he mumbled giving Tucker a rare grateful look.

"Don't mention it," Tucker said giving Church a wary look. "Ever. To anyone."

Both laughed a bit at the joke before admitting defeat and getting out of bed to get dressed.

Church ran down the stairs first and made it into the dining room as soon Grif's pop tart came out of the toaster.

"Oh hey!" Church said in a fake friendly voice. "How nice of you to make me breakfast Grif."

Before the Red could protest, Church grabbed the cinnamon sugar pop tart out of the toaster took a big bite out of it.

Grif stared at the Blue in horror for a few seconds before scowling.

"Hey!" he shouted. "That was mine!"

"Oh come on Grif," Church said teasingly. "If we're going to be one big happy family, you have to learn to share."

Grif sputtered as Church took another bite.

"Maybe you should learn how to make your own damn breakfast!" he snapped as grabbed the cereal box Simmons was holding out to him.

Sarge gave a murmur of disapproval and once again smacked Grif upside the head.

"I've already told you you're not supposed to curse!" he scolded though his tone was gentler than it had been the other day.

Grif glowered as he poured himself a bowl, and Church snickered slightly before Sarge shot him a disapproving glare that made him fall silent.

"Don't be stealing your cousin's breakfast!" he reprimanded. "You get hungry; you make your own breakfast."

Church nodded as Tucker walked into the room, a mixture of amusement and horror written across his face.

Before Church could ask him what was wrong, Donut came bouncing into the room followed shortly by Caboose, and Church had to cover his mouth to stifle the laugh that came out.

Donut had helped Caboose get dressed alright. Helped him get dressed in a pretty pink shirt.

Church and Tucker held their breath so they wouldn't laugh. However, Grif and Simmons had no such reservations.

"Oh my God! There are two of them now!" Grif said breathlessly clutching his sides. "It's like some pink cult."

Simmons couldn't form any words from laughing so hard, but he nodded his assent.

Donut stomped his foot.

"It's not pink!" he insisted. "It's lightest red."

This only caused his brothers to laugh harder and even Sarge chortled a bit before he regained his composure and said, "Now, now boys. Lay off the Pretties in Pink."

Donut scowled and walked over to the pantry while Caboose looked at them confused.

"What's wrong with my shirt? Cookie helped me get dressed and he said that I could wear this shirt and that we could be twins for a day."

"I thought it would be fun," Donut said pouting and crossing his arms.

"Yeah getting beat up will be real fun," Tucker said sarcastically rolling his eyes. "Maybe it'll be like a bonding this for you guys."

"Well, his clothes were all wrinkled, and one of my shirts was the only thing for him to wear." Donut protested.

"That's very nice Donut," Sarge said trying hard to keep the smirk off his face. "You boys could learn a thing or two from him."

Donut shot him a thankful look before grabbing a waffle and running to put it in the toaster.

Caboose took his seat next to Church and reached for the remaining bits of pop tarts.

"Caboose," Church said warningly grabbing his younger brother's hand before he could steal whatever was left of the pop tart.

"But I am hungry and you said I am not allowed to use anything that makes fire after the kitchen caught fire in an accident that somehow happened when I tried to make a muffin for Shelia."

Donut smiled at his cousin.

"I can make you a waffle if you want, Caboose," he said happily.

Caboose smiled.

"I would like that," he said coming to stand next to Donut.

Simmons and Grif seemed to be getting over their laughing fit, and returned to their cereal while Tucker poured his own bowl.

Church stared at Caboose warily for a few second before shrugging and turning his attention back to his stolen pop tart.

The sound of a small explosion caused all of them to jump and look at Donut and Caboose standing next to a burning toaster.

"Oops," Donut offered weakly giving a small smile and bringing his palms up.

"Not my fault," Caboose said immediately. "Tucker did it!"

Tucker groaned.

"Caboose," he snapped. "You can't keep blaming me for stuff! Especially when I'm right here."

Sarge was up from the table and by the toaster in an instant.

"What in blue blazes?" he asked, more to himself than anything else.

He grabbed a dish towel and immediately began trying to beat out the fire. All the while muttering incomprehensibly to himself.

"How did that even happen?" Simmons wondered staring as his father tried to extinguish the flames.

Church snorted a laugh.

"Just be glad he didn't burn down the whole house," he advised before finishing off the last bits of pop tart. "I'm going to go to school."

He got up and tried to leave, but Sarge's voice stopped him.

"It's too early to leave yet," he said in a stern voice. "Besides, you don't know where your school is."

Church sighed and sat back down at the table in defeat, crossing his arms and refusing to talk to anybody.

Tucker, Simmons, and Grif finished their cereal in silence, while Sarge put out the fire and threw out the toaster muttering about faulty wires. Caboose and Donut decided to have cereal instead, though Donut was insistent on pouring the bowl for Caboose, just in case something else would catch fire.

The conversation at the table was the same as it was last night, virtually nonexistent.

After what seemed like an eternity to Church, the Reds had finally gotten up and grabbed their backpacks.

"It's time to go," Simmons announced, opening the front door and exiting. "See you later Sarge."

"Bye," Donut said cheerfully following his brother out.

Grif mumbled something inaudible, but he did wave as he exited the house.

"Have a good day at school," Sarge called after them. "And you boys have a good first day," directing this at the Blues.

"Whatever," Tucker muttered getting up from the table and walking out the door.

Church sighed and said, "I'm sure we'll have a blast." His voice was tight and controlled.

"Yeah, I'm sure we'll have the bestest time ever, and by the end of it, we'll be super best friends forever," Caboose exclaimed clapping his hands together before his face darkened. "It only we didn't have to go to stupid school."

Church groaned and grabbed his younger brother's hand.

"Come on, we better get going before the other guys leave us behind," he said with a sigh. "If you act all enthusiastic about this, I swear I'm going to hurt you," he hissed to Caboose when Sarge was out of earshot.

It turns out they didn't have to worry about being left behind. Simmons, Grif, Tucker, and Donut were waiting for them at the end of the street.

Tucker seemed relieved that he wouldn't have to be alone with his cousins anymore and immediately ran towards his brothers, giving a surprised glance at Church holding Caboose's hand.

Church looked down at his hands firmly clasped around his younger brother's and immediately let go and stuffed his hands in the pockets of his jacket.

Tucker smirked, but said nothing.

Caboose seemed a bit upset about losing Church's attention, but shrugged and walked over to Donut.

"Will school be fun?" he asked tentatively wringing his hands together.

"Oh it's wonderful," Donut said enthusiastically. "There's story time, and art class, and math!"

"Math makes my thinker box hurt," Caboose said cheerfully.

"Mine too buddy!" Donut exclaimed jumping up and down in excitement. "This is going to be great!"

Church, Tucker, Simmons, and Grif looked at each other warily. Spending the entire day together with no chance of escape…

They groaned.


	4. Chapter 4

**Not my best chapter, but it'll do. I hope you will all enjoy it, and I just felt like warning you that I might not update too fast. I figured I should actually hash out more of the plot before I run into a wall. 0-0**

**Thanks to Petchricor for helping me.**

**I do not own RedvsBlue.**

* * *

The walk to school wasn't a far one, but it felt like it took forever. Simmons ground his teeth together as Donut went on and on and on about Valhalla, their school.

"Oh you're going to love it!" Donut gushed once again. "The playground's got slides, and swings, and seesaws. The lunch room has all you can eat day every Friday. The teacher lets us do all kinds of fun projects like arts and crafts, and.."

"Oh look we're here!" Grif called out interrupting Donut mid-sentence. "Well I'm going to go now. See you guys at lunch."

Grif was about to run off when Simmons grabbed his arm.

"Don't forget to take Tucker with you, and show him around," he ordered lightly his tone slightly apologetic. "Sarge's orders."

Grif glared at him before grabbing Tucker's arm and pulling him towards the school.

"Come on," he grumbled walking a few steps before releasing his cousin's arm. "Let's get going before the kiss-ass tattles on us."

Tucker couldn't help but snicker, if only a little bit.

"Whatever dude," he said rolling his eyes and smiling a bit despite himself. "I don't know how you managed to live with that kiss ass for so long. I probably would have smothered him in his sleep by now."

Grif gave a snort of disgust.

"Oh shut the hell up Blue!" he snapped. "Look who you have to live with. The angry jerk and the moron."

Tucker growled and his smile quickly turned into a grimace.

"What's your problem Red?" he asked angrily. "You're always acting so freaking bi-polar! You called him a kiss ass five seconds ago, and then you get pissed off at me for saying it! Then you have to get all bitchy and insult Church and Caboose. Seriously! What the hell?"

Grif scowled at his cousin.

"I can say whatever I want about my brother, but you better keep your mouth shut!" he warned. "And I don't act bi-polar!" he added, feeling slightly insulted.

"Well if I can't insult your brother, then you can't insult mine," Tucker insisted stubbornly crossing his arms.

"Yeah, I doubt either of us is going to follow that," Grif said dryly giving a small smile.

Tucker grimace turned back into a smirk and he laughed.

"Whatever Red," he said. "So there any hot girls in our grade?" he asked hopefully.

"You are such a perv," Grif said rolling his eyes. "And no, most of the girls that go here are complete bitches that you won't hit on if you value your life."

Tucker groaned.

"Church did always say that there are no such things as regular girls," he mumbled disappointed.

Speaking of his angry older brother, Church was already annoyed.

"But Church!" Caboose whined. "You always take me to class on the first day of school." Caboose jumped up and down and grabbed Church's hand. "Please, please, please, please, please!" he begged.

"Knock it off Caboose!" Church snapped. "I'm not going to take you to class. I already had to do that this year. There is no way in Hell I'm going to do it twice in one year."

Caboose whimpered miserably, and Simmons couldn't help but feel sorry for the kid.

"It's okay Caboose. Church and I will drop you and Donut off," he said in a comforting tone.

Caboose brightened, Church glared at his cousin, and Simmons cowered slightly.

"I already have to make sure Donut gets to class safely," the Red protested. "And you wouldn't know how to get to class without me. So you're stuck with me."

Church glowered.

"I don't know why you have to take him to class, he's seven," he muttered.

"That's because he gets lost all the time," Simmons said simply. "We tried to let him go to the park by himself once, and he ended up on the other side of town in a bad neighborhood."

"It was scary," Donut proclaimed happily.

Church slapped a palm to his face.

"Whatever," he muttered bitterly. "Just make it fast."

Donut walked ahead humming happily. Occasionally walking down the wrong hallway and getting pulled back by Simmons, and Church couldn't help but hate his younger cousin even more.

The walk to the classroom seemed to take forever, and Caboose's constant chattering didn't make it any better.

"We can eat lunch together, and after school we can hang out and it will be great. We can go camping or go to the movies, and we don't have to have any of those horrible Reds!" Caboose proclaimed happily. "Or Tucker," he added in a sly undertone.

"Hey!" Donut protested.

"I suppose Tucker can come," Caboose amended though he didn't sound too happy about it. "If you really want him too."

Simmons rolled his eyes at the Blue's obliviousness while Donut pouted and crossed his arms.

Finally they reached their destination, and Donut showed Caboose inside much to Church's relief.

"Thank God!" he exclaimed. "That was the worst drop-off ever, of all time. God Caboose is so annoying."

Church rubbed the bridge of his nose, and Simmons rolled his eyes, silently agreeing with his cousin. Not that he'd ever admit it.

"Come on we're going to be late for class," he said walking in the direction of their first class. "We've got English first."

"You're just as much of a kiss-ass at school as you are at home, aren't you?" he asked dryly.

Simmons's only response was to walk a little faster.

School was absolute hell.

Simmons usually loved school, but Church seemed to drain all of his positive energy. He didn't have all his classes with him, but his influence stayed with him even when they were in different classes.

Church hated having to share a class with his little cousin, and he didn't even try to hide his anger and annoyance.

Grif hated school to begin with, but Tucker seemed to make it even worse. He was an even worse student than Grif was. At least Grif sort of tried in class. Sometimes.

Tucker just acted like an immature jerk who had a better place to be, and he seemed annoyed at the fact that Grif was trying to be serious for once.

Even Donut found that being in the same class as Caboose was a lot more trouble than he thought it would be. Caboose obviously wasn't that smart, but Donut never realized how completely and utterly incompetent his cousin was, and it was hard being his school helper.

Caboose just hated school in general, though Donut's presence did make it more enjoyable, if only a little.

The day seemed to drag on forever. The lunch was tasteless, the elective was in fact confusing, and the gym workout was horrible.

Both the Reds and Blues were exhausted both physically and emotionally as they dragged themselves home. The day had gone about as well as they'd thought it would, and they couldn't see any of the other ones going any better.


	5. Chapter 5

**Hello. It's been a while, but here is the next installment or a Red and Blue Family. I hope you enjoy it, and remember that I don't own RedvsBlue and you should in no way sue me. **

**Thanks to Petch for the help and all my reviewers for their support. You guys rock. **

* * *

The walk home was quiet. Not even Donut seemed to want to talk.

All six of the boys were exhausted as school had been particularly rough that day. First days were always the worst, and the Blues seemed to make it just as bad for the Reds as it was for them.

Church was glad that Caboose seemed to be shutting up for what felt like the first time ever. He had a killer headache, and all he wanted was some peace and quiet.

Of course considering it was Caboose, he shouldn't have expected to last long.

"That school was bad," Caboose said sadly looking down at his feet. "If it wasn't for Butterscotch it wouldn't have been any fun at all. The teacher kept trying to make me do work. Was school terrible for you too Church?" he asked ignoring his middle brother in favor grabbing Church's hand. "Did Simon make it horrible like you said he would?"

Simmons shot Church a death glare which the oldest Blue gladly returned.

"First of all Caboose, his name is Simmons, and yes, he made school Hell," Church said angrily shaking free of his younger brother's hand. "I practically didn't talk to anybody except for him!"

"I know right!" Tucker agreed. "Do you guys have any friends to talk to because it seems like you only had us to talk to all day!"

"Oh what's a matter?" Grif asked in a mocking tone. "Do you need us to help you make friends? I didn't know one of our responsibilities was to act like your parents!"

Tucker and Church's eyes flashed while Caboose's filled briefly with tears at Grif's words, and the Red couldn't help but feel a bit guilty about bringing up such a sensitive topic.

Donut immediately moved next to his cousin and wrapped his arm around him in a one armed hug while Simmons tried to fill the awkward silence.

"I'm not in all of your classes' asshole," he told Church. "You can't blame me for you not making any friends."

"Well they probably saw me hanging out with some eighth grade loser and didn't want to be associated with me," Church snapped back crossing his arms. "It's like your purposely trying to find new and creative ways to ruin my life."

"Yeah and that still doesn't explain why you guys don't have like any friends," Tucker added.

"We don't get out much," Donut said lamely, waving a hand in the air.

"Yeah and the people who go to our school are total Cockbites anyway," Grif said gruffly. "If you think we're bad just wait till you meet some of them!"

"They can't be nearly as bad as listening to you prattling on about food and shit all day," Tucker argued.

"Yeah," Church agreed. "Or Simmons boring me by talking like a complete nerd all day."

The elder Blue looked at his cousin expectantly, waiting for him to deny being boring and arguing that computers and sci-fi novels really were interesting, but Simmons, not wanting to listen to his cousins complain anymore, chose instead to run ahead the few yards to their house and go inside.

Caboose, who had been surprisingly quiet after what Grif had said, broke free of Donut's grip and rushed inside as well leaving his cousin behind with a startled look on his face.

Caboose quickly entered the kitchen where he found Simmons digging through the fridge.

"What are you doing?" he asked timidly placing his hands behind his back and rocking back and forth on his heels.

"Getting an afterschool snack," Simmons said pulling out a carrot stick from the fridge and taking a bite out of it. "Do you want something?" he asked hesitantly after swallowing.

Caboose looked thoughtful for a moment before getting a serious look on his face.

"Do you have any cookies?" he asked.

"We have Oreos, but Grif's already called dibs on them for life," Simmons answered rolling his eyes a bit.

"Darn right I did!" Grif called walking behind his younger cousin. "If you touch them I will bury you alive."

Grif quickly walked over to the cabinet and opened it up retrieving the cherished blue and white package before giving his brother a wry look.

"Seriously dude? A carrot? That's what you went for. You're even lamer than when Donut insisted that foods that start with a vowel taste better."

"But they totally do!" Donut insisted walking up to Grif and trying to take the Oreo packet out of his hand. Grif however quickly yanked the Oreos out of his brother's reach and held them above his head.

"Come on Grif! You need to learn to share," Donut whined.

Grif shook his head and stuffed an Oreo in his mouth.

"I was here first," he said through a mouthful of cookie. "The little twerp can get his own from the cookie jar."

Caboose smiled and jumped on the balls of his feet.

"Oh! Cookie jar! Those are almost always filled with cookies! Can I have some?" he yelled  
excitedly.

"Jesus! What are you screaming about now?" Church asked, running a hand through his hair as he and Tucker walked into the kitchen.

Caboose turned around and stared at Church intensely.

"I demand cookies," he said, his voice serious.

"No!" Tucker said immediately. "Just no."

Caboose glared at his older brother before switching to an angelic look.

"Nobody asked you stupid Tucker, and what if I said, pretty please?" he asked sweetly staring at Church with wide, pleading eyes.

"Caboose I'm sure if we gave you anymore sugar, the world would be destroyed by the outcome," Church said flatly grabbing a bag of chips before stalking out of the kitchen and running upstairs to his room.

Caboose's eyes filled with tears, and he started to wail much to the chagrin of everyone in the room.

Tucker sighed before grabbing an Oreo from Grif's hand and giving it to his younger brother.

"Just take this, shut up, and if Church asks, Donut gave it to you," he said tiredly grabbing a leftover slice of pizza from the fridge and settling down at the table to eat.

Caboose munched happily on the cookie before walking into the living room to watch TV.

Donut squealed with joy and gave Tucker a quick hug.

"You are so nice! Giving Caboose an Oreo is so sweet!" he said happily. "Grif is probably going to kill you for that," he added as an afterthought.

"You're darn right I am!" Grif snapped slamming his Oreos on the counter. "You do not touch my Oreos!"

Tucker glared at him while Simmons gave a wry laugh.

"As if Grif!" he said. "You're far too lazy for that."

Grif glared at his older brother.

"Traitor," he hissed while Tucker laughed at Simmons's joke.

"Not too bad…for a kissass," Tucker commented giving the Red a small look of respect.

Simmons rolled his eyes as he finished the last of his carrot and walked out the kitchen.

Grif glared at Tucker again before grabbing his package of Oreos and walking into the living room to join the others.

Tucker sighed and decided to eat his pizza alone at the table.

He'd never felt so homesick in his entire life. He missed everything. His house, his room, his parents, he even missed his old school.

Their mom had died when he was 6, and it had been one of the worst times in his life. The only comfort he'd gotten was that their dad began to spend more time with his family. Sure he was cheerful and said weird things sometimes, but he knew how to handle Caboose and make Church calm down when he was in one of his rages.

It wasn't one of the best families. His dad would get caught up in his work sometimes and have no time for his sons. He and Church fought all the time and Caboose seemed to hate him for reasons that only made sense to the demented little child, but it wasn't awful.

Sometimes their dad would put aside days just for them, which weren't bad at all if he ignored the weird things his dad would sometimes say. Church would transform from a total dick, to a guy he could consider a friend. Caboose would even stop his imaginary competition for Church's attention he seemed to think he had with Tucker, and be a nice normal little brother. They had a nice, relatively normal family that didn't stress him out to no end.

Then things feel apart like they always seemed too.

Now, not only was he an orphan, but he had to live with family members who hated him and his brothers and leave everything he'd ever known behind.

It's wasn't like he'd really had any friends before the move, but at least he had known the assholes that went to his school. Now the only people he knew at his new school were his annoying family members.

Tucker sighed as he made short work of the pizza. He stood up and wandered into the living room to see what they were watching on TV.

"Come on Grif! It's two against one! Please let us watch our show," Donut begged as he tried grabbing the remote out of his brother's hand.

Grif scowled as he held the remote higher and readjusted his position on the couch.

"There is no way I'm watching a show about ponies. I'm trying to do you a favor by saving what little masculinity you have left." Grif turned and shot his older brother a pleading look. "Come on Simmons back me up here."

Simmons just rolled his eyes.

"If you guys can't decide on a show I'm going to take the remote and watch Star Trek," he warned. "Just pick a show already."

"But they're magic ponies who tell me how to be better friends with Church," Caboose whined while attempting to help Donut get the remote though he didn't have any better luck.

Tucker walked behind the couch and yanked the remote out of Grif's hand and flipped through the list of channels disinterestedly before setting it on Phineas and Ferb before sitting on the armchair.

Grif and Simmons stared at him in surprise while Donut and Caboose squealed in delight as they settled back into their seats on the floor and put their attention on the show.

Tucker shrugged.

"It's not too bad of a show. It's got some funny jokes, and Caboose seems to like it," he explained.

"It is very funny," Caboose said happily. "We used to watch it all the time. Even Church would laugh sometimes."

Tucker nodded solemnly.

"Yeah, it was one of those few moments when you knew Hell had frozen over," he joked.

Donut giggled.

"We never watch this show because Simmons doesn't understand the platypus," he said.

"Yeah," Grif agreed. "It's one of his pet peeves. Like drinking milk out of the cartoon."

Simmons's face turned red as a tomato.

"First of all the milk thing is actually annoying. Secondly, the platypus is very weird. It's like some messed up kind of egg laying beaver duck. Not to mention that one's like a secret agent or something and could probably kill people in their sleep, he complained, his voice getting higher with each word. "

Grif scoffed at him.

"You have issues bro," he said simply. "Major issues."

Simmons glowered at his younger brother before getting up off the couch and leaving up the stairs. A minute later, the slam of his bedroom door was heard from downstairs.

Grif shrugged before stretching out across the entire couch and turned his attention to the TV.

Donut shot his brother a disapproving look.

"You shouldn't tease him about that Grif," Donut chastised. "You know the platypus thing really bothers him."

Grif snorted.

"It's his own fault for being such a whiney bitch all the time," he said rolling his eyes. "Besides the way he acts all mature and in charge, you'd think he wouldn't have such stupid phobias."

"But Simmons is all mature," Donut protested. "He helps me with my homework and stealing your Oreos when you aren't looking."

Grif glared at him.

"Yeah but you're seven and stupid. I'm twelve and only one year younger than him. He has no right to be acting all high and mighty!" Grif complained crossing his arms and sinking further back into the couch.

Donut opened his mouth to say something before Tucker interrupted him.

"Church is the same way. He always had to be in charge. He claims he's a born leader and me and Caboose are idiots who can't do anything right." Tucker rolled his eyes before continuing. "He's pretty unbearable most of the time. I know how you feel."

Tucker and Grif's eyes met for a second and a moment of understanding and mutual loathing of their older brothers passed between them before both dropped their gaze in embarrassment before turning their attention back to the exploits of Phineas and Ferb.

* * *

**The next chapter should come out...eventually. I have like one sentence done. It should be downhill from there. **


End file.
